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October Movie Preview/ by /

4 Oct

October! Look, I’m gonna be blunt. I had to work real hard to pick a number one film this month, because it’s a fairly dire bunch. Whole lotta mediocrity hitting the big screens. But I owe it to you, reader, to break it down regardless. Let’s begin.

  1. ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP – Oct. 18. How long is too long for a sequel? The first ZOMBIELAND was ten years ago. Since then, its stars have become Oscar nominees, obviously far too big for silly action comedies, right? Well, the band is back together, whether you asked for it or not! I’m sure it’ll be fine, but I really doubt it’s going to do well given how long it’s been since the original.
  2. JOKER – IMAX, 70mm – Oct. 4. This one’s had quite the ride. After winning Best Film at the Venice Film Festival, expectations went sky high, but the domestic critics have been pretty savage. Everyone agrees Joaquin Phoenix gives an amazing performance, but the film itself doesn’t hold up to the end. Director Todd Phillips hasn’t helped matters with his recent junket interviews, complaining about not being able to do comedy in today’s overly PC culture, making this “edgy” take seem kind of pathetic, sidling up to the alt-right community. It’s a perfect example of a film that’s hard to review on its own merits. Anyway, there’s a limited 70mm run at the Varsity in Toronto, so if you’re going to see it that’s the one to aim for. IMAX is overkill.
  3. JEXI – Oct. 11. Adam Devine (WORKAHOLICS, MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES) falls in love with a Siri clone, only to have it destroy his life. It’s nice to see Ron Funches and Michael Pena on the big screen, but this one’s from the dudes who made BAD MOMS as well as THE HANGOVER, so adjust your expectations accordingly.
  4. JUDY – Oct. 4. Oscar bait ahoy! Renee Zellweger is Judy Garland in the last weeks of her life. Her third marriage has fallen apart and he wants custody, she’s broke and doing shows in London to pay the bills, just trying to keep it together. But dangit, she’s Judy Freakin’ Garland and the show must go on! Reviews are pretty soft but Renee’s performance is great.
  5. GEMINI MAN – RealD3D, IMAX, HFR?!? – Oct. 11. It’s Will Smith vs young Will Smith! This one’s been percolating for twenty years and the tech finally caught up so they could bring Ang Lee’s vision to life! Unfortunately they forgot to write a great script. Lee shot the film in 120FPS 3D, and some theatres will show it in HFR, which hasn’t been seen since his last film BILLY LYNN’S LONG HALFTIME WALK, which no one saw. It’s been a frustrating journey for high frame rate tech, but I know James Cameron will jam it down our throats for AVATAR 2. That’ll show ‘em!
  6. BLACK AND BLUE – Oct. 25. A rookie New Orleans cop (SKYFALL’s Naomi Harris) must survive bad cops and bad guys after witnessing a murder. It looks pretty bleak since literally everyone seems to hate the poor girl and darn it, she’s just trying to do her best. Fun fact about the trailer: Harris doesn’t utter a word of dialogue until halfway through. Good sign!
  7. MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL – RealD3D, IMAX – Oct. 18. A sequel to the prequel. It looks like more of the same. It’s incredible that they convince so many talented people to work on something so forgettable. Michelle Pfeiffer, Imelda Staunton, Chiwetel Ejiofor… just doing their best for so little.
  8. THE CURRENT WAR – Oct. 25. Edison Vs Tesla! Benedict Cumberbatch Vs Nicholas Hoult! What should have been an all timer, isn’t. This is actually billed as THE DIRECTOR’S CUT even though the first cut was only shown at festivals, to thunderingly mediocre reviews. Can’t imagine a recut will save it.
  9. COUNTDOWN – Oct. 25. A new app will tell you when you will die, with lethal precision. Can you beat the reaper? Well if you do, evidently a fate worse than death awaits. I’m sure it won’t be as interesting as the gimmick. Inexplicably, this is the only horror film coming out this Halloween!
  10. THE ADDAMS FAMILY – Oct. 11. You’d think an animated version designed after Charles Addams’ style would be a cause for celebration, but you’d be super wrong. I mean, you cast Oscar Isaac as Gomez, we need to see that shit LIVE. ACTION. Plus it looks like it’s all about Wednesday based on the trailer. Otherwise it’s just the old Addams Vs The Normies. They deserve better.

So October is a bust. Beginning of the end. Nothing good on the horizion. Pack it in. Well, until November. It’s gotta be better! Right?

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