MAY! IT’S MAY! SUMMER MOVIE SEASON IS HERE! And what better way to kick it off than a sequel to Marvel’s biggest surprise hit? Not much counter-programming this year, so there’s only eight movies on the list this month! Let’s take a look.
- GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 – May 5, RealD3D, IMAX3D. It’s damn near perfect. Surprisingly emotional, loaded with fun and humor, great action, just about anything you’d ever want from a theatrical experience. Benchmark stuff.
- ALIEN: COVENANT – May 19, IMAX. PROMETHEUS was frustrating at best, and hopefully Ridley Scott learned his lesson. Early word is positive, so it should deliver the goods. Hell of a cast here.
- KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD – May 12, RealD3D. Guy Ritchie has basically made LOCK, STOCK, AND TWO BLOODY SWORDS. I want to give him credit for trying something different with the Arthurian legend but it kind of looks like a mess. Hopefully it’s a fun mess.
- PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES – May 26, RealD3D, IMAX3D. The fourth film was a disaster, but this looks like a return to form, and they’re selling it as the last one. It looks like a mashup of all the elements from the original trilogy, but it’s hard to get excited about this.
- BAYWATCH – May 24. It’s nice to see a proper starring comedic vehicle for Dwayne Johnson, and Zac Efron has definitely matured into a decent actor, but I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. It wants to be 21 JUMP STREET soooo bad but it’s missing the brilliant touch of Lord & Miller.
- SNATCHED – May 12. Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn seem like a no-brainer teamup, and writer Katie Dippold wrote THE HEAT and GHOSTBUSTERS, but the trailers seem a bit lacking. I think audiences may be burned out on Schumer, though it’ll be nice to see Goldie in action again.
- DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL – May 19. This is the fourth WIMPY film, but the first in five years. New family, same chaos. This series is aimed squarely at nine year old boys so don’t expect much from this one.
- EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING – May 19. A teenage girl is trapped in her hermetically sealed house due to her immune deficiency, but hormones cause her to rebel and escape with the pretty boy next door. It’s hard not to think about America’s health care debate and how much her inevitable hospital stay would have cost, let alone the cost of maintaining the house, but hey, the heart wants what it wants, right? Better to live one day in the real world than live a life in a prison. Until your lungs fill with fluid and you can’t breathe, then that prison seems pretty swell. Wow, this got dark. Anyway, I guess it was inevitable that Nicholas Sparks clones would start appearing by now, hooray for doomed romances!
So that’s May for you. June has a megafilm every week, it’s gonna be a bloodbath. See you then!