January! A dumping ground, or a fertile field for classics-to-be? Or just an awards farm for films that have been out for months? Well, it’s a little bit of everything, but this month it’s more of a dumping ground. Womp womp. Let’s take a look.
1. GRETEL AND HANSEL – Jan. 31. A super dark interpretation of the classic fairy tale. Obviously this puts the focus on Gretel, played by IT’s amazing Sophia Lillis. Nothing like a well-shot gothic tale.
2. THE GENTLEMEN – Jan. 24. Guy Ritchie is BACK BABY! This is coming off like an old script he dusted off from the glory days, with all the baggage that comes with a twenty year old idea. Critics have been harsh but old-school fans have been eating it up. Hell of a cast, with Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell, and Hugh Grant in what could be a career-redefining performance.
3. THE RHYTHM SECTION – Jan. 31. What a great title for a movie about a woman out for revenge for her family’s death in an attack on a civilian plane. Blake Lively is up front here, looking haunted AF and willing to do literally anything for vengeance.
4. BAD BOYS FOR LIFE – IMAX, Jan. 17. Hey, the bad boys are back! Oh, what’s that? Michael Bay isn’t directing? That’s gonna be a no from me, dogg. Also, Martin Lawrence looks like he’s wearing his fat suit from BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE. It looks more like a FAST & FURIOUS spinoff, which could be fun, but it’s not going to hold up to the classic that is BAD BOYS II.
5. UNDERWATER – Jan. 10. Survivors of an undersea base disaster try to escape, only to find that the attackers are not of our world. A perfect example of a January dump, since it’s been on the shelf for three years, though some reviews say it delivers the goods. Hey, Kristen Stewart looks good in it, but whoops, there’s the canceled TJ Miller along for comic relief. I’m sure it’ll do well on Netflix.
6. DOLITTLE – Jan. 17. Hoo boy. An expensive CG laden sequel to a legendary flop? Sure, why not. Hey, let’s get Iron Man to star in it too! I can’t get over the tone of the trailer, like we’re supposed to be blown away by the very idea that animals can talk.
7. THE LAST FULL MEASURE – Jan. 24. An investigation for a medal of honor candidate in Vietnam sets off a political firestorm. This has all the hallmarks of Oscar bait, with none of the actual buzz, but lots of Intense Performances from William Hurt, Christopher Plummer, Samuel Jackson, and Sebastian Stan. And of course, it’s Inspired By The Incredible True Story. And yet, no one’s talking about it.
8. THE GRUDGE – Jan. 3. It’s the reboot no one wanted! Has the honour of getting a rare F rating from Cinescore, which usually gives horror films a C or so. Guess Sam Raimi’s producing skills are questionable.
9. LIKE A BOSS – Jan. 10. Two entrepreneurial best friends (Rose Byrne and Tiffany Haddish) go to war against a greedy billionaire (Salma Hayek). It’s great to see female driven comedies, but by all accounts, this one is terrible. I wonder if it’s because the story is from a woman, but the screenplay is written by two dudes and it’s directed by a dude? Hmmm…
So that’s January for ye. Fairly light, says I. February, arr, there be a few big ‘uns in there, but that’s a tale for another day.